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Rae of SunshineChronic recurrent multifocal osteomyelitis:
Four words that would forever ring through her ears,
The echoes of an eerie bell.
Countless times these words would bring her to tears.
Up the stairs I ran,
To the foot of her door.
I took a glance inside
And lost sight of the place I knew before.
Inside she was twirling,
Around and around on the tips of her toes.
Inside was a different world…
Could this really be so?
Each time she spun
Something new appeared.
One single twirl,
And the wooden fan was replaced by a glass chandelier.
The walls widened, creating an enormous room.
Her T-shirt was replaced by a gown that shone like the moon.
My reflection stared back at me from the pearly floor.
Men and women stood in the places furniture had been before.
Suddenly the bedroom
That I knew so well
Had become an enormous palace;
My older sister had cast her spell.
Entranced in this dream,
I almost hadn’t seen
My sister grab her hip in pain…
Sweet Dreams"I wish, I wish upon a star
That my prince will never be far."
The five year old girl looked into the sky,
And believed none of her dreams to be too high.
For she was a princess, an artist, an astronaut,
And there wasn't one villain Daddy couldn't stop.
But there was a villain deep inside.
How could Daddy stop what was within her mind?
Small at first but always fed,
The monster soon took over her head.
Within herself she was tightly bound.
If she screamed, would she make a sound?
Ha, her dreams, they were so sweet.
Bitter, now, the villain was a thief.
Sixteen and fighting each day,
She only wanted someone to stay.
Confused, alone, and always scared,
It seemed to her that nobody cared.
That dreaded tear stroked her cheek,
And softly she whispered before she found sleep,
"Let an end come to this internal war,
...I wish, I wish upon a star."
Sleep TightJust another sleepless night,
But don't you worry, you sleep tight.
Monsters are coming for me tonight,
But don't you let the bed bugs bite.
As I struggle to fall asleep,
I just hope you'll have sweet dreams.
And as the moon is getting high,
I'll softly wish the air goodnight.
It's just another sleepless night.
But don't you worry, you sleep tight.
GoodnightPlacing a rose upon the stone
She didn't quite understand that Daddy was gone.
Mommy said he was gone forever
But then his promise would be severed.
Mommy's words could not be true
And the crowd's sorrow was long before due.
She wondered why everyone wore black
So many colors their clothes did lack.
She had insisted on wearing her favorite pink dress
They were going to see Daddy and she wanted to look her best.
She stepped forward to see Daddy sleeping.
Sleeping in a box, what was he thinking?
"Daddy," she said, "it's time to wake up."
But so deeply in sleep he was.
They started to lower the box into the ground
The crowd around her held no sound.
"Mommy," she whispered, tugging on her shirt,
"We have to wake Daddy before the box goes in the dirt."
Mommy just smiled which didn't make sense
Why was she smiling when she seemed so tense?
"Honey," Mommy said, stroking her cheek,
"Daddy, I'm afraid, is never going to wake from this sleep."
A tremble of her lip and a tear from her eye
PainThere is a little girl,
Five is her age.
She's important in the book of life,
She shows up every page.
She likes to be disguised
And often wears a mask.
She always answers hide n' seek
When her favorite game is asked.
It's hard to find a seeker
But she'll still hide alone.
Most are unaware she exists,
They assume she is gone.
Time and time she'll show herself,
Giving up on her little game.
Someone might ask who she is
And softly she'll answer "Pain".
The DarknessI sit on this swing and wait,
for my black monster to come around.
I want to be alone,
please don't allow me to be found.
The darkness slowly creeps up,
and I'm filled with this dreadful desire.
"Consume me," I whisper,
and inside my soul forms a black fire.
It gets darker,
And I can't help but feel relieved.
Soon I'll be lost in the shadows,
there will be no such thing as me.
I slowly lose myself to my monster,
but suddenly hear a call.
Someone has found me,
my desire won't be filled after all.
The Villain (Bye Bye Mr. Nice Guy)I am desperately seeking someone to save me
Wondering where I have been going wrong
The more I allow myself to be walked over
The more I feel like it’s where I belong
Under the tread marks of your rubber soled shoe
My face has been driven in to the mud
You’ve laced my dignity with so much self doubt
What on earth have I gained from being good
I am desperately seeking something to save me
The next line to the poem of my life
Dissecting my past with clinical precision
Using a pen-shaped surgical knife
With a blade that seems to cut deeper and deeper
Each time that I am wounded or I am hurt
But maybe now is the time to put down my pen
And distribute my anger with more than words
I am desperately seeking something to save me
I feel I’m on the cusp of a rebirth
I will take centre stage and leave you in the wings
There is no more time left to rehearse
I have stiffened the sinews, I have summoned the blood
I face my fears and I’ve made a decision
I can be strong, I can
WordsIt’s when I get my thoughts to rhyme
That I can truly start to see
What has been swirling in my mind,
And then I get to set it free.
A turmoil of chaotic calls
Becomes a desperate, pleading choir
Of thousands of tangled words
Awaiting me to help them thrive.
They cry, and weep, and beg like kids,
Won’t let me drown myself in sleep
Until I give them what they need –
A string of rhythm and sense to grip.
I strive and strive to make them speak
And give them a melodic vibe.
Yet their presence is too weak,
I'm losing hope that they'll survive.
But after stumbling time and time
Again to let them slip away
I start to hear their chime.
I start to see them find a way.
So one by one and step by step
I see them coming up to me.
They join to spin a magic web –
My soul’s true epitome.
And that’s the place they shall remain,
In subtle, fearless accord.
I never thought that I could tame
Such mischievous, capricious words.
So now I’m pacing back and forth
Sweet Music MelodySweet Music Melody lend a mid-night dance to me
Oh what tender lips are these that lay sweet kisses on my cheeks
Making my bashful heart sing...sing...sing
Sweet Music Melody lend a mid-night song to me
Oh what beautiful notes your voice is to a lover's song
beckoning a drifting soul home sweet home
Sweet Music Melody never let your music end
Play your seductive heart's song again and again
Step by step, song by song, you and I are forever one
She Does Not Love YouDo not hear
Her glorious speech
Pretend to be deaf.
Elude her hair
Dancing in the air
Don’t think about
Those sunny eyes
Knowing your past
With just one look.
Avoid her laugh
A melody of harp
Played by angels.
She’s hurting you
Giving you false
When she reveals
All her evil plan
You will be broken
Thinking about suicide.
Bury the memories
With you by her side
Even if they are
The best times
Of your life.
Winds Of TimeThe cool winds of time change from day to day
Yesterday to soon turns into tomorrow
But today is never twice the same
And in heavenly stars I search, but I have yet to find my way
Still, as time marches on, my soul can find no resting place
In the mist of this violent quake
Of many dimensions of being I lies awake
Until the hours of dark meet a brilliant day break
leaving me to, once again ponder an uncertain fate
Four EverSugar coated, and devoted
To the bright side of life.
Optimistic, and artistic
With a blessed soul and mind.
May God bless you, for breaking through
The darkest side of death.
Keep your smile clear, my precious dear
For it brightens the sky.
Writer's ProblemsThis pen feels,
So right in my hand.
With the ability,
To do what only I can.
Ideas fly from my mind,
In a manner, distraught.
But they stick to my pen,
Writers with their problems,
Ideas with their wings.
But take your imagination,
And shoot down the damn things
StargazingCome with me and stay a while
To marvel at the night sky
For darkness brings forth beauty
That daylight might disguise
Oh how the heavens simply teem
With spritely dancing hues
That paint the blackness up above
In purples, pinks, and blues
And did you know that the stars
Are the best at telling a story
About dancing bears or a mighty hunter
Or a hero's road to glory
And the moon sings me to sleep
With a celestial lullaby
And whispers an offer in my ear
To join him in the sky
But then I fall asleep
And the stars still shine
And the colors still dance
And I'll have nothing but these dreams of mine
These dreams that tempt me
To leave this world behind
For a life amongst the stars
Where there's adventure worth to find
But as much as I'd love to go
I know that I must stay
That's why I need you here with me
'Cause I'm afraid I'll drift away
Blaming is for the weakYou blame it all on me
But the truth you do not see
You lied right from the start
Just to win over my heart
You did not act your age
When you turned the other page
We could have worked it out
But now I am in doubt
That you ever really tried
Because all you did was hide
You told a one sided story
Just looking for some glory
Sold a fairy tale
Now I find you are quite stale
Everything you emulate
Is something that I hate
You told me you were strong
Stringing me along
You were afraid of everything
Now I see your broken wing
Thinking of the day
When your troubles fade away
Your refusal to act on them
Leaves you nothing more than a whim
I do not have the time
To be subjected to your crime
Now I can see it's true
That the weak one is you
SophieSophie don't you worry,
your pretty little mind.
These monsters aren't in your closet,
they only hide in mine.
I know it must be scary,
to see them make me cry.
But I promise they won't touch you,
and I promise I'm just fine.
Sophie you can sleep now,
I'll turn your night light on.
When you wake in the morning,
these monsters will be gone.
I'll sing you a lullaby,
if you would only close your eyes.
Focus on my voice,
everything will be alright.
Sophie have you finally,
given in to sleep?
Forcing them inside myself,
these monsters I will keep.
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